Here's an idea for Fidel Castro, in his last hours, to become the hero he always wanted to be....
Fidel, learn how to make cigars!
Steady those hands, and sharpen your dexterity, because your last chance for greatness has just arrived.
Seriously, how many people would pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to own a cigar rolled by your ephemeral fingers? Start off with just a few, leak the info to a few bigwigs, let it break the press, and then stick them up for sale on the epitome of all capitalist websites, ebay, and watch the bids grow!
Take that money, and give it back to those who need it most.
Embrace capitalism in your last throes, to save communism in its last moments!
Stand tall on an alter in front of your people, holding high the cigars of hope, and while basking in the glory of the Caribbean sun, proclaim, "Your savior, Fidel Christo!"
The leaders of the world, in a self-righteous act of good-will, won't hesitate a second in buying those invaluable smokeable monuments to your now infamous legacy.
"'Fidel Christo' cigars, the new hope..."
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